Never attend a country concert at Verizon Wireless amphitheater without snapping a photo with the following conditions: the attendance of your most attractive blonde friend; a patterned crop top or white lace off-the-shoulder blouse (you’re tan enough to wear white); a mass of drunken lawn seat ticket holders as a suitable background; a proper West County girl pose.

An in-depth description to the often debated interpretation of the word “proper”: begin by angling your entire body inwards with your partner, but keep your heads together, facing the camera. Bend your knees or bevel. Hug your friend, hold hands or position your hand on your hip. Pretend to laugh and caption #candid or raise your eyebrows, lower your chin and smile. If you chose not to utilize a filter, label #nofilter.

In the rare event of posting a picture without your squad present, never do so without the addition of #artsy present in the caption.

Always participate in Throwback Thursday over Selfie Sunday. The Thursday post offers the chance to display an image where you looked killer, but avoided posting in the past due to the pressure of doublegramming and relativity.

Never post two pictures in one day without labeling the second with a #doublegramming and #don’tcare.

Remember: nothing is important if it’s not public. What’s worse than remaining oblivious to your best friend’s birthday? Forgetting to post an obnoxiously long caption, complete with a lengthy list of inside jokes as validation of your everlasting friendship. Create a collage to justify eternal social harmony. The more pictures taken together translates to a serious friendship.

Only post pictures you think will surpass the number of likes of the previous picture, but set realistic goals. The longer you actively engage yourself in Instagram activity, the more followers you should theoretically secure, and your pictures should score increasingly more likes.

Never follow more than follow you. Otherwise, Instagram stalkers will quickly, and often times unconsciously, utilize mental math to form a ratio, and answer a rather simple equation: “How many people entertain me, without returning the favor?”

Never post a picture of your cat with #lazyday.

Always post pictures showing off the squad after school dances. Jamming everyone’s Instagram with Homecoming pictures allows the opportunity to compare your squad to other squads, and judge each other’s dates.

Never reveal the actual location of the picture. The location description may exceed the importance of a caption if done so creatively.

Always consult at least two friends for caption ideas or caption approval. Pun acceptability depends on the social status of the poster. If you’ve established a solid reputation, you can get away with it.

Do not repost business advertisements in hopes of winning a prize. Very few will like the picture, and you’re most likely not going to win.

Never post at night when the majority of your followers sleep. You will be unable to properly judge the time ratio. For example, 30 likes in 30 minutes outshines ten likes in 30 minutes.

Always give photo creds where they’re due. If you took a picture and did not receive the proper recognition, feel free to claim photo creds by means of commenting on the picture so everyone can see.