Defining Divorce: A student’s personal narrative breaking down common misconceptions regarding divorce
As long as I can remember, I have led two lives: one with my mom and one with my dad. They divorced before my second birthday, both remarried within two years, with both subsequent relationships ending in divorce and my mother remarrying once again.
With as much exposure as I have had with divorce, I’m still in disbelief whenever I hear someone I know is dealing with it as well.
I’ve also become subject to an incessant amount of misconceptions and questions many people have.
One of the most frequent misconceptions is I hate my stepparents. I think Cinderella presented the concept that step parents mistreat their step children, which in my case isn’t true. In my experience, I have had two bitter, governing step parents, but I was never mistreated by either one of them. I’ve also gained an exceptionally accepting and loving stepfather. My exposure to stepparents has taught me a good relationship with them just requires getting to know them before disregarding them.
Living at two different houses has proven to be one of my most persistent struggles, whether it be needing something at my other house or just missing the other parent.
Another common misconception is living in two houses includes having two of everything. In a sense, yes, I get two sets of special occasions like birthdays and holidays and gifts from those events and so on. Consequently, people tend to assume that, for example, if I get a shirt at one house, I get the same shirt for the other house, which isn’t true. Some people take their belongings between houses; for me, I have a wardrobe at both houses.
Throughout my life, both of my parents have gone out of their way to make sure I am able to be involved in whatever I want, regardless of the fact they are giving up their time with me or where they have to drive me to allow me to be involved. Though sometimes, deciding to give up time with my parents is harder than trying to coordinate any plans.
It’s hard to comprehend that since my parents separated when I was almost 2, they had about 16 years of my life to divide between the two of them. Nevertheless, my mom has always reminded me that our time together is about, “Quality, not quantity.” I will forever be envious of every kid who comes home to see their mom and dad every night, because that is something I will never be able to experience.
Being a teenager, I understand the frustrations everyone else experiences with their parents. Be that as it may, I hope all of the kids lucky enough to have parents who are together cherish all of the time they get with them.
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Katie Karmeier • Apr 20, 2016 at 1:07 PM
Although Lees does give insight on the issue of divorce and how it may turn out in her case, there are often much greater struggles faced by children with divorced parents. In a large number of cases that I have heard of and have even experienced myself, some parents end up with bitter resentment toward one another. Sides are occasionally taken by children and even holidays can become a competition of who can give the best gifts and “win the kids over”. Often times as well, children begin to catch wind of exactly how much money is going towards child support and alimony, which I know has caused frustration for me. Some parents even opt to move out of state, which they then relinquish their ability to see their children as much as they should. Although in some cases I’m sure everything turns out well and parents remain friends and co parent successfully, unfortunately in many cases the unpleasant feelings persist even after attorneys are taken out of the picture.