RJ Warden, freshman, still remembers the best compliment she ever received.
“Someone told me I looked like a character from ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,’ and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, that character is so cool’,” Warden said.
Warden said a compliment stands out to her when it focuses on something specific and doesn’t feel old or reused.
“It shows that you’re actually paying attention,” Warden said.
Compliments such as the one Warden received can inspire contagious positive emotions.
“When someone makes us feel good, we naturally can carry that with us and pass that on to other people,” Erin Sullenger, social studies teacher, said.
When someone receives a compliment, dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin are released in the body. Sullenger said dopamine and serotonin are neurotransmitters associated with positive emotions, while oxytocin is related to social bonding.
However, giving a backhanded compliment will not produce the same results.
“People tend to use them, if they do it purposefully, to kind of keep a person in their place,” interim associate dean of graduate education for Saint Louis University business programs and management professor Dr. Chris Thomas said.
Genuine compliments may also provide benefits other than higher self-esteem, satisfaction and confidence, Dr. Thomas said.
“For people who are good at it, and when it comes off as sincere, it’s actually associated with good career outcomes, faster career progression, faster salary progression, more promotions, things like that,” Dr. Thomas said.
Compliments may be valued differently depending on the setting. Dr. Ann Peng, professor of organizational behavior at Mizzou’s Trulaske College of Business, notices cultural differences in giving and receiving compliments.
“I think in the culture I grew up in people are not that used to giving compliments, especially in the parenting context,” Dr. Peng said. “I think it’s because of the mindset; the parent is always seeing something the kids can improve so they don’t want their kids to be arrogant.”
A person would usually apologize or suggest there was always room for improvement when given a compliment, Dr. Peng said.
In general, Dr. Peng said that people tend to underestimate how meaningful compliments can be.
“By recognizing the positive outcomes of compliments, maybe people would be more willing to actually give compliments,” Dr. Peng said.
Dr. Patricia Bagsby, Medart Endowed Chair in Family Business and assistant professor of management at Saint Louis University, agrees.
“Sometimes we just do things and don’t recognize the impact that it has on people, and you may just walk around doing those awesome things all day and never know what it does,” Dr. Bagsby said.
Giving specific, sincere compliments can inspire gratitude and joy, Dr. Bagsby said.
“Those compliments are a little bit more meaningful because it also helps you understand yourself,” Dr. Bagsby said.
