Mason Smith, sophomore, texts his girlfriend at school, at home, in the car. He texts her before golf practice and after dinner. Anytime they’re not together, they’re texting.
“Neither of us can sleep without a goodnight text from the other,” he said.
Smith’s girlfriend Lindsey Gollwitzer, sophomore agrees: “We text each other all the time. Constantly.”
Smith and Gollwitzer are not alone in their texting craze. Across the country, texting in teenage relationships has dramatically increased over the last decade. Although it’s too early to make conclusions, experts point to significant consequences.
“If people use it in a way for positive communication, it can have translating effects,” said Lori Schade, a marriage therapist and lead researcher on a new study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy.
Texting also can be a way to maintain communication and reach one another more readily. It is a way to be connected.
According to a new study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, about 82 percent of young adults text their romantic partner several times a day. But all this connectivity doesn’t always lead to harmony.
Texting doesn’t provide immediate feedback with vocal tones, vocal information and facial expressions, said Schade. This leaves the emotions out of the message.
“People can misunderstand what the message is trying to say because the person can’t put emotion into their tone of voice,” she said.
Besides miscommunication issues, people also feel more removed from the conversation while texting and may say things they usually wouldn’t say face to face, Schade said.
Working with couples before texting existed and during this cultural phenomenon, Schade worries about the affects it will have on future generations.
“I think it is going to destabilize marriages and be entwined with more divorces or separation,” she said.
If people aren’t happy in their current relationship, texting has made it easier for them to hookup with an old boyfriend and girlfriend. And they can easily hide it from their partner by deleting the messages.
Texting today may hurt this generation in the future.
These emerging adults may be avoiding interpersonal communications by texting. This would create an inability to learn how to tolerate the emotions that come in interpersonal conversations, Schade said.
It could stop interpersonal social skills from developing. Learning how to resolve conflicts, problem-solve and work through challenges may be diminished. People won’t be able to work through the difficulties in relationships. Texting could have a negative quality on future marriages.
Although texting connects individuals more, it leads to less deep connections.
“Texting is a way of connecting people – a mile wide and an inch deep,” Schade said.
Smith has given it some thought. The way he sees it, texting has made it easier to maintain communication and evaluate problems in his relationship. Whenever he gets upset, he can just text Gollwitzer and they work it out.
“We never go to bed angry,” he said.
But Smith acknowledges the cons texting has if used poorly. It can make people more willing to throw their opinions out too early in the relationship, he said.
Gollwitzer recognizes the possible negatives as well. Some people can use it to bully, she said.
However, the way she sees it, texting is mostly beneficial. It provides an individual with time to think about what to say. It is a way to convey positive words and compliments.
Gollwitzer, like Smith, said “If texting gets in the way of your relationship then it probably wasn’t a strong relation to begin with.”
